


Do you understand?

by ImmortalAcorn



Series: Memories of Draco Malfoy [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Confrontations, Flashbacks, M/M, POV Draco Malfoy, POV First Person, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-09
Updated: 2018-09-09
Packaged: 2019-07-10 04:27:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15941771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImmortalAcorn/pseuds/ImmortalAcorn
Summary: ‘Malfoy!’‘Potter. Do you need something?’‘What are you doing here?’‘None of your business.’‘Came to gloat did you?’That fucking imbecile. ‘Yes, that’s exactly why I’m here, Potter.’





	Do you understand?

I didn’t get why my life sucked so much. I shouldn’t have come to the event. Big mistake. I knew something like that would happen. Yet I came, being a masochist apparently. I was so stupid. 

***

At the time, it was two years since the end of the War.

I spent almost one year in Azkaban. It was so much … fun. Cold, wet and dark. I mostly talked to myself, in my head. Sometimes I shouted at someone screaming inside one of the other cells to shut up. I could never tell if one of those screams belonged to my parents. They sounded so… not human.  
I didn’t have many visitors. My friends came few times. To entertain me I guess. Well, it wasn’t very entertaining. I told Pansy so during one of her visits. I screamed at her. She startled and then screamed right back. She came back to entertain me a week later. She is a true friend.  
I don’t remember much of those days. I don’t want to remember. So I don’t really think about it.

Then they let me out. I went home. And I was alone.  
No screams, at least not real ones. But I dreamed about them. The screams, the darkness, my parents, the rain and the sea. Now I don’t dream about anything. I think it’s the potions, but I’m not sure.  
I still got a lot of gold. Not everything was taken.  
At first I didn’t know what to do with it. I was and still am forbidden to leave the country, so I couldn’t travel. I didn’t leave the house much, there were just so many hexes and curses I could take. The house-elves took care of me. I am glad some of them stayed. I would be lost without them.  
I started giving money to charities. I don’t honestly know why. Maybe I felt responsible for all the kids without families, for people traumatised by war, for dead people. But I probably just wanted to become someone again. Someone with respect, dignity and unsullied name. I wanted to redeem myself?  
I wanted to come out from the house and to breathe the same air as everyone else. I didn’t want to be prosecuted forever. I know, I deserved it but I didn’t want it. 

That is why I ended up there, at Dinner for War Orphans and Victims. I was shocked to see my name on the invitation. But it was first possibility to be a part of the society again so I went. Merlin was I naive.  
I apparated at the front door of the hall, in new robes, my hair washed and combed after a long time of neglect and with a sick feeling in my stomach. I was about to disapparate right back home when the door opened. The hall was full. Thankfully just few people noticed me. They didn’t say anything, just glared.  
I went straight to the bar.  
It seemed like hours I was standing there, alone. No one cursed me, but I heared them whisper.  
‘What is he doing here?’  
‘Travesty, how could he be invited?’  
‘Look at him, the Death Eater.’  
‘I would like to wipe that smug expression of his face.’  
Merlin, I was having so much fun. I guessed my constipated face looked like arrogance to them.  
I almost choke on the whiskey when I saw them. All three of them standing with the minister and being photographed by a bunch of reporters. Always so thirsty for the attention.  
Then Potter saw me and I decided to leave immediately. I finished the drink and started walking away. The dinner didn’t even start properly and I was already running. Well fuck it, I thought, I had enough. I would never be one of them again.  
‘Malfoy!’  
I didn’t stop.  
‘Malfoy!’  
‘Potter.’ I said without stopping. Finally, I was outside ready to flee.  
But he caught up and grabbed my arm.  
‘Potter,’ I spat and wrenched my arm out of his hold. ‘Do you need something?’  
‘What are you doing here?’ he asked.  
‘None of your business,’ I said stiffly and turned away from him.  
‘Came to gloat did you?’  
I stopped. ‘Gloat?’ I asked suddenly pissed.  
‘Yeah. Came to see your legacy?’ That fucking imbecile.  
‘Yes, that’s exactly why I’m here, Potter. To laugh in the faces of orphans and then review it in my pensieve and laugh some more.’ My fingers were going numb from how hard I fisted them to restrain myself from throttling him.  
Potter smirked. ‘Then why?’  
‘As I said,’ I gritted out ‘none of your business.’  
‘Never stopped me before,’ he said. ‘If you’re up to something, I’ll know eventually.’  
The nerve of the prat. ‘Who do you think you are to think you have the right to pry into my life?’  
He just looked at me completely calm while I was losing it.  
‘You’re a Death Eater, that gives me the right.’  
I was going to kill him. ‘Go fuck yourself.’ I barely held back from screaming.  
‘Do you even understand what these people, these children went through?’ he came closer. ‘What they must feel when they see someone like you?’  
You fucking moron. Of course I do. You think it was all roses for me? That I enjoyed it? That I am not marked by the war? That all of you are the only ones allowed to feel lost and sad and to mourn? That I didn’t suffer too? That it was fun hearing screams every day and night? That I’m happy?  
I straightened and kept my chin up. I smirked.  
‘No, I really don’t.’  
I disapparated.

That was how it started. I stopped hiding and started hating him again.


End file.
